“Highly entertaining for both the science literate and those of us who don’t have a clue” Black Diamond … more

You Can’t Polish A Nerd

The science comedy phenomenon are back on tour! Join stand-up mathematician Matt Parker, TV experiments maestro Steve Mould and award-winning geek songstress Helen Arney at the ultimate show for nerds and non-nerds.

In 2018 we’re doing versions of You Can’t Polish A Nerd at:

  • Soho Theatre
  • Underbelly Festival
  • Arts Depot, where we’re recording it for DVD and download

Tickets are here, and more dates will be announced! Join our mailing list to hear about them first.

Can’t make it to a show? Pre-order your copy on DVD or download and get it before anyone else!


Already seen the show? Enjoy these links:

  • Sign Matt Parker’s petition to correct geometrically impossible roadsigns – click here
  • Print your own “Say No To Mathematically Impossible Street Signs” sign – click here
  • Play with Aaron Montag’s spherical footage Droste manipulator – click here
  • Marvel at mathematician Henry Segerman’s original research into spherical footage manipulation – click here
  • Mix sounds in your browser for your laser mirror set-up – click here
  • Watch Helen singing all the elements (including the new ones) – click here
  • Steve and Helen’s new book “The Element In The Room” is out now – click here
  • Our tour-themed badges, magnets and notebooks are available online – click here

Since their last tour, the “resplendently geeky trio” (The Times) have featured on BBC2’s QI, created a genuinely “experimental” comedy show for BBC Radio 4 and played the Hammersmith Apollo with Professor Brian Cox and Robin Ince, while Steve and Helen have written the first Festival of the Spoken Nerd book: The Element In The Room.

You Can’t Polish A Nerd will see Helen, Matt and Steve putting the “oooh” into zoology, the “fun” into fundamental theorem of calculus and the “recursion” into recursion with a veritable Periodic Table of new science, songs, and spherical geometry. Full Frontal Nerdity guaranteed!

This show contains scenes of multiple recursion, and is suitable for ages 14+

“Charm and perky curiosity is in its DNA” Guardian
**** “Great, funny, clever… even the heckles at this terrific show are smart” The Scotsman
**** “The geeks have inherited the earth in a show that’s smart and funny” The Skinny
**** “Fantastic and funny… you don’t need to be a ‘nerd’ to enjoy this show” Broadway Baby
**** “Gleefully geeky… impossible to resist, whatever your level of scientific knowledge” Edinburgh Reporter


Don’t forget to goin our mailing list to hear about extra shows before anyone else.

Get more of the Nerds in their 2014 show Full Frontal Nerdity, and their 2016 show Just For Graphs on DVD and download from the Spoken Nerd Shop.

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